The Theocratic Kingdom of The Solar Ottomans is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Bengi Ali with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 18.786 billion Ottomans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heliopolis. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Ottoman economy, worth a remarkable 2,115 trillion lire a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Basket Weaving industry. Average income is an impressive 112,631 lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Civil servants refuse to enforce government regulations for fear of wider economic impact, sex education has become an intricate maze of stick figures and complex metaphors, the government merely sends empty platitudes whenever natural disasters strike foreign nations, and shoppers carry protractors to verify their produce. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Solar Ottomans's national animal is the phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Heliolatry.

The Solar Ottomans is ranked 796^th in the world and 18^th in The East Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 16,985.67 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.